Updates with Enhertu/chemo brain

 The last five/six weeks have been a a bit wavy. As always I started this post last week, and well Enhertu does my brain no favors so apologies in advance for confusion. The Sunday before I started my new treatment (Enhertu) I lost feeling in my upper legg/butt and was advised to hit up the ER where I told the tech it was "the best MRI I ever had"...I think that's a credit to the drugs they gave me and the tech of course lol. Anyways, the next week I started Enhertu Monday and met with radiation oncology Wednesday. They decided on radiating the sacral met plus a left femoral met we had explored before that was giving me some mild pain. Unfortauntely, that took a bit longer than planned to get started (2 weeks), and I was a week late to Enhertu. Also during that time was the LBBC Mets conference in Philly where I got to see friends and participate in a panel. It was a great experience, but unfortunately left me with very swollen legs. I started radiation therapy the day after I got back, and met with cradio-oncology plus plumonology to see if it was one or both of those things. No dice there, which in my book is a good thing but still no answers. But cardio put my on a higher dose of diuretic than oncology and is having me follow up; I started a second diuretic last week as my upper legs, hips, abdomen are still really swollen (pants are limited lol, weight is up still). We're still trying to get this in order. Oncology also ordered an unltrasound, and I do have a small amount of ascites (fluid in the abdomen) but she doesn't think it should be causing a lot of the symptoms so for now it stays. We'll keep an eye on it. 

Functionally all this came to a head and after discussion with oncology, we put off Enhertu another week. This was one of what seems to be a stream of difficult decisions, and I'm so grateful to my oncologist for helping me make it. I'm really fatigued, short of breath, can't eat well, am in pain, and am uncomfortably swollen. But I know many of these symptoms could be caused by the cancer (oncologist agrees that most are likely cancer symptoms) which ultimately Enhertu has the best chance of fixing if anything, but will also make worse (at least fatigue & nausea) at least for a week or so. We decided I'd focus on resting and hopefully feeling a little better the next week.  

This decision making gets harder and more uncertain as time goes by. I'm doing my best to take the drugs and stay alive but I am quite fond of quality of life, even if it's sitting on the porch or in the sun with my love drinking a Grater's strawberry shake (I'm obsessed with shakes right now lol), visits (though shorter) with friends and family.

So. I was going to try wrap this up in a pretty bow, but it's really a bedraggled torn and tossed mess lol. And that's life, but it feel's more life-like in the last 4 or 5 weeks than usual. Mentally I've had ups and downs - and I'm grateful to those who have listened and support me as always. So grateful! So that must be the bow - gratitude for friends and family who are the bow helping hold my bow together, raggedy as they all can get lol